tornpaperdoll

uneventful day

2004-12-22T20:39:00.000+08:00

A very uneventful day i been through today..
let see.. i woke up at 12 pm.
bath.. for like one hour.
after that.. had my lunch..
then i watched dvd- prey for rock and roll.
its a great movie.. but .. theres this lesbian scene that i hate. (guys would love this movie though)
i felt so tired and sleepy after watchin..
that i just fall asleep.
woke up ard. 3 hours later.
aft that..went to the noodle restaurant just at the opposite, with my mom and cousins.
came back home.. and bath again.
then i on e comp.. open my msn messenger( i signed out aft 1 min cos not much ppl are online)
open my friendster.. mxtabs... plyrics.. this blog.
yes its boring.
and i wish i can find someone to talk to right now.

hear me out

2004-12-22T20:32:00.000+08:00

SILVERSTEIN- HEAR ME OUT.

When everyone has left me here,
I'll make it on my own,
Just wait and see.
Maybe if you came back down,
You'd see it happening to you,
Maybe you'd even care

Hear me out,
I don't think you'll make it out.
Hear me out,
See the writing on the wall.

Burn your bridge and wear
Your heart out on your sleeve,
You know you won't fool me.
You made all these promises,
You broke all these promises to me.
Follow your heart this time.

Hear me out,
I don't think you'll make it out.
Hear me out,
See the writing on the wall.

Did you mean all those things you said?(Said!)
Even when you said you'd never change.
Writing you letters you never read.(Read!)
Waste my breath on paper!
When you reflect do you
Get that feeling like you used to?
And every time you run away,I!
Know you still have memories

Now that you've left,
Make me feel like I'm gone.
You did all these things I hated.
So hear me out,
I don't think you'll make it out.
Hear me out,See the writing on the wall.

hist of emo

2004-12-21T18:46:00.000+08:00

history of emo.

After Minor Threat broke up in late 1983, the vibrant DC hardcore-punk scene that exploded in 1981 seems to start to run out of steam and fresh ideas within the established DC hardcore sound. The wistful, posthumous Minor Threat 7" "Salad Days" comes out in 1984 and drives the final nail into the coffin of DC hardcore punk. Bands all over the country begin casting about for new things to do : DRI and Bad Brains start going cheeze-metal, New York bands start doing tough-guy mosh, 7Seconds goes jangly U2 alternative, etc. The prevailing change in D.C. is toward melodic rock with punk sensibilities.
1984 marks the release of Zen Arcade by Minneapolis band Hüsker Dü, documenting their new mature sound combining furious, intense vocal delivery and driving guitars with slowed-down rockish tempos and more-complex, melodic songwriting.
In spring 1984, a new band called Rites Of Spring forms from members of The Untouchables/Faith and Deadline. This band retains a punk speed and frenzy, but brings a totally new vocal approach to the mix. Singer Guy Picciotto keeps an out-of-breath punk style most of the time, at times delving into intensely personal lyrics dripping with emotion and sweat. His voice breaks down at climactic moments into a throaty, gravelly, passionate moan.
The summer of 1985 becomes known as "Revolution Summer" when a new wave of rock-tempo, melody based, sung-vocal bands forms out of the DC punk musician pool with diverse rock sounds - Three, Gray Matter, Soulside, Ignition, Marginal Man, Fire Party, Rain, Shudder to Think, etc. Few bands retain the fast hardcore punk-based sound with the new vocal approach, Dag Nasty being the notable exception.
Minor Threat's singer, Ian MacKaye's, sings for a band called Embrace (compare the band name to earlier DC bands Minor Threat, Void, and State Of Alert) whose lyrics are emotional and deeply self-questioning, but still clear and unambiguous. Musically, the group (formed mostly of ex-Faith members) writes midtempo, somewhat jangly music with a lot of pop guitar hooks. MacKaye's vocals retain his trademark bold enunciation, with only occasional sparks of emotive delivery.
These bands' sound eventually becomes known as the classic "D.C. sound." Some of it is derisively labeled "emo," as shorthand for "emotional." One account has this term first appearing in a Flipside interview with Ian MacKaye. Shortly thereafter DC bands aquire the tag "emo-core."
Slightly later (1986), some bands begin to focus on the "emo" element itself. The Hated in Annapolis (near D.C.) seem to be the first post-Rites of Spring to do this. Shortly thereafter, Moss Icon appears in in the same town. Moss Icon strips the "emo" element down to the core, and adds a great deal of intricate, arpeggiated guitar melody (by Tonie Joy, later of Born Against, Lava, Universal Order of Armageddon, etc.) with a strong focus on loud/soft dynamics. The vocals, too, break new ground by building up to actual top-of-the-lungs screaming at songs' climaxes.
Moss Icon, as a relatively well-known band that toured some, introduces the punk scene to music that has core emphasis on emotion instead of punk energy. As such, I consider them the starting point for the emo movement, not Rites of Spring as is more commonly asserted. Later emo bands draw heavily from the Moss Icon dynamics, guitar style, and vocal delivery.

foolish

2004-12-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

Its foolish but its happening.

peek a boo.

2004-12-21T01:52:00.000+08:00

Here i am staring at the walls again.

thankful

2004-12-21T01:49:00.000+08:00

Be thankful for what you have ,
you will end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have ,
you will never, ever have enough.

thursday

2004-12-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

"Understanding In A Car Crash" by Thursday.

Splintered piece of glass falls, in the seat, gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you we followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday the same way
Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins. (it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender

The broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
It's two hands still point to the same time 12:03, our last goodbye
So push the seats back a little furtherI can see the headlights coming
So push the seats back a little furtherRoll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass

Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins. (it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)Time to let this pass (the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender
The spinning hubcaps set the tempo, for the music of the broken window
The Cameras on and the cameras click
We open up the lens and kiss the...
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
The lights are on and the cameras click
We open up the lens (to broken glass!)
Staring at the setting sun (Understanding!)
No reason to come back again (In a Crash!)
The twilight world in blue and white (In a Car Crash!)
The needle and the damage done (I'll Never Understand!)
I don't want to feel this way forever (Understanding!) (In a Car Crash!)
A dead letter marked return to sender (In a Car Crash!)In a Crash!

currently this is my fave song and ALL from the full collapse album.

people are good by nature

2004-12-15T01:42:00.000+08:00

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.

Everyone on the planet is in exactly the same state of moral worth, because we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Poor upbringings cause many people to not have much to do their best with, but hey, that's life. Criminals believe they are powerless, so breaking the social contract is the only way they think they can get what they need and manage to feel somewhat powerful. People without that hang-up can see that cooperation and respect are really how things get accomplished, but both of these types of people are simply trying to live a fulfilling life using the methods that they think have the best chance of working. So you see, people are basically good. They are all trying to do their best. They often just need some help overcoming inner demons and behavior patterns that aren't really working for them.

Obviously, you are in the same boat. You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are already living the most moral and correct life you know how to live. There is no more that you can do at this moment to be a better person. You are already a good person. You do not have to strive every moment to be better than it is possible for you to be. Smile at yourself. You're OK.

Now, it should be clear that you can improve. Not by beating yourself over the head for bad things you've done; those things couldn't be helped. You were just doing your best with what you had. What you can do is learn where your blind spots are. Watch others. People who at first glance are just plan old bad people are on further investigation suffering from horrendous misconceptions about how the world works. You also have misconceptions about the best way to get what you want. Find those misconceptions and wake up!
But, don't worry if your progress is slow and unsteady. You will make progress, but after all, you can only do the best you can with what you have. (Man, why did we beat this topic's catch phrase into the ground, over and over? Well, we were just doing, you know, that thing we said.)

useless

2004-12-15T01:37:00.000+08:00

Feel Useless and Worthless?

Well, you are. No, seriously, this is a typical problem in most cultures around the world. People tell their children (with words and actions) that they are no-good, worthless, useless drains on their parents' happiness, pocketbooks, and patience. Given this scenario, you get a lot of adults who became convinced as children that they were just no good, and they helpfully pass this attitude on to their children. Lovely predicament, eh?

Well, thankfully, they were wrong. Let's take useless first, it's easier. You cannot be classified as useless, because you aren't really supposed to have to make yourself useful. Look at the natural world. What is the use of a tree? Well, it has many uses, but it isn't TRYING to be useful. There's the difference. It's just doing what it wants (or so we assume) and in the process of doing that it does its job in the natural order of things. Despite all the rantings of moralists, you are in the same boat. The only way you are ever going to do an ounce of good in the world is to do what you want.
Do what makes you happy, or at least what distracts you from your misery.
Important Note: If you have an underdeveloped sense of empathy and enjoy doing things that harm others, ignore this advice and get professional help!

How, you may ask, does doing what you like do any good? Look around you. Look at people who seem to be trying very hard to be useful. Are they really doing good things for people? Or do they make everyone around them miserable with all their moral uppidyness and incessant busy bodying? I suspect it is the latter. The people who really do others some good are the people who are doing what they like and who aren't very interested in being useful. They are usually interesting to be around, because they are doing things that interest them. They are often fun to be around, because they appreciate fun and know how to laugh and not take anything too seriously. They inspire other people to figure out what it is that they want to do by example, thus causing more people to be interested in life and interesting to be around, fun loving, etc.
Out of all the people we meet in life, these people who are doing their own thing are the people who have the most profoundly positive impact on us and thus make our lives richer in the most fundamental, meaningful way. Can you really call that useless? Sure, working in a soup kitchen will feed people, but if you're being a martyr about it because you don't really want to be there, everyone around you will see right through you and hate you for being moralistic and insincere, and you will end up doing more harm than good. So, revel in your perfect uselessness. It's the useful thing to do.

read

2004-12-15T01:27:00.000+08:00

Read.. i said read this.

Unhappy? Depressed?
Well, obviously if you're really bad off you should really talk to a professional, but as long as you're not contemplating any ugly irreversible acts, here's something that might help.
Think of someone you know that seems pretty happy about life. How would you describe their attitude? Are they kidding themselves? Are they ignoring the ugly truth about life that's right in front of their eyes and pretending that some happy fantasy world that exists only in their heads is real? Well, guess what. That is exactly how every happy person in the world acts. And the really strange thing is that it's OK. Because the reason that you are unhappy is that you have constructed a fantasy world just as complete and just as removed from the "facts" as the Pollyanna imaginings that you so despise in those happy people.

Reality is in fact neither good nor bad, it is a very plastic inkblot sort of thing that can be bent and twisted in many directions depending on your beliefs. WHAT! you say? What about THE TRUTH? Well, that's a complicated question and it gets into the meaning of life bit that we haven't gotten to yet, but suffice it to say that what is REALLY going on is so strange, so complex, and so far beyond our everyday understanding, that it bears no relationship to what you think of as "reality", "truth", or "reason". Good and bad, happy and sad, these are notions that you are imposing on the world around you. But, more on that in part II of the Meaning of Life Page.

The answer to unhappiness is both liberating and infuriating, but here it is. Happiness doesn't depend on anything that has or has not happened in the past, nor does it depend on your future prospects (thank God, eh?). The simple fact is, in order to be happy:
You Must Decide to be Happy.

Yep. Isn't that aggravating? You can't blame it on anyone else, and no one else can do a thing for you. You've just got to decide to be happy, whether or not your logical mind thinks it is rational to be happy and whether or not your moral sense thinks you deserve to be happy. You absolutely will not be happy for any length of time until you decide to, and if you decide to, you can be happy in the face of the most miserable circumstances.

Happy deciding!!

emo.

2004-12-11T17:04:00.000+08:00

Many members of the emo community dress in a very unique style.
They may wear thick, black-rimmed glasses, old thrift store T shirts, canvas Converse sneakers or cuff their pants really high.
Star tattoos are also popular.
Short haircuts (for guys and girls) are a must.
Often, members who dress like this are called scenesters.(Visit How to Dress Emo for a humorous glance at the typical emo fan.)

Scenesters get made fun of quite often.
Several Web sites poke fun at the "typical" emo kid.
On some message boards, members leave heated comments about scenesters.
"I only make fun of emokids that are obsessed with emo as a fashion and fall into a strict stereotype and those that take themselves too seriously," said emo fan Muffy on the Emolandv2.0 message board.
"Like the whole, spoiled white suburban upper-middle class kids that who whine and write pretentious annoying and cheesy poetry," Muffy said.
"Many emo kids are poseurs. It's cool to whine.
To be übersensitive and write in a journal.
It is cool to be interested in these issues even though you were a meat eating redneck yesterday.

I realize that kids are kids and that is a part of growing up, wanting to be a part of a group. So I should go easy, but when when they are trying too hard ... it is so annoying!!"

Scenesters tend to ignore negative comments.
Emo has become a very popular sub-genre in the alternative music community, and members are concerned that this popularity will affect band output.
"All of a sudden, it's so damn cool to be emo that bands stopped caring about quality, and started churning out album after album at a pop-punk like rate," said one member, Joe Rocks, on the alt.music.net message board.
Trends go through cycles.
When something is relatively new and unknown to the general public, people who are into it are considered cutting-edge or cool.
Once the trend becomes more mainstream, more people jump on the bandwagon and the trend becomes watered down and not as cool anymore.
The kids who like it at first get upset because their little secret has become commonplace.
Eventually the trend will die out and lay low for a while.
Emo is definitely becoming popular fast.
It's not to the point where all of society knows about it yet, so many of the members are still enjoying being one step ahead.

How to dress emo.

2004-12-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

i got these frm the internet.. and tht guy who create it is such a jerk.. i tried to copy and paste but failed.. cos when i was about to click the word 'copy' something like this appear "I THINK NOT, JACKASS''. i laughed when i saw tht. he wont allow anyone to copy and paste..so.. i am the one who wrote it all down!..okay whatever.. anyway.. happy reading this! =)

What the heck is emo? Well my friend, I'm here to tell you everything you need to know. By the time you get through reading this poorly designed web site, you shall be stuck up elitist know it all snob just like me! Let's begin:

What is emo? I can't explain this in my own words so i will just paste information taken frm other website:

Emo is a type of music. Short for emotional. However, alot of people have taken it beyond the music and turned it into a way of dress. A lot of old school scenester(ha ha) get really pissed off at this new ''wave'' of people that have jumped on the bandwagon and are dressing this way. Eventually the trend will die out but it currently is having its 15 min .

How to dress emo? This varies depending on where you live and if you are going for the indie emo look, the nerdy emo look or the dressy emo look. I shall go over all 3 from head to toe.

THE INDIE EMO LOOK-(best for girls and guys 16-20)
*Dyed-black short hair with bangs short and cut straight across the forehead. Spikey in the back, slightly greasy. Really light blonde hair on girls works too.
*Piercings. The more the better.
*Jewelry. The more the better. Beaads, etc.
*Horn-rim/Thick black frames/ Cat eye glasses (this works for all three types).
*Tight, fadded shirts with random slogans. It should look like it could have been bought at a thrift store but you didn't (but you really did). It takes a while to master that one.
*Dark denim jean jackets.
*Messenger bag covered in patches and pins( that you actually bought at shows).
*Tight pants, sometimes cuffed once or twice but never more!
*Black or blue converse shoe

THE NERDY EMO LOOK-(best for girls under17 and guys over 21)
*Short hair .Style it messy, but not spikey.
*Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses(this works for all three types).
*Thin , tight, solid dark colour v-neck sweaters. I call then Graandpa sweaters.
*Band shirts.
*Messenger bag covered in patches and pins(that you bought at hot topic but you tell everyone you got then at shows)
*Dickies work pants . Blue , black or grey only!
*Arglye socks.
*Black converse shoes.

THE DRESSY EMO LOOK -(best for girls and guys over 20)
*Black or brown hair. Flipped out on girls, mop top on guys.
*Horn-rim/ thick black frames / cat eye glasses (this works for all three types).
*A silver necklace with star charm.
*Scarves.
*A black messenger bag. No pathches, 1 or 2 pins at the most(and only at the bottom of the strap).
*Heavy dress slacks.
*Doc Martens or clunky black shoes.

Also, to be emo you have to be skinny. Why do you think so many of them are vegans. If you are not skinny, you have to lose weight before you can officially be emo. How many emo girls do you see walking around with big tank ass? Thats what i thought.

relient k

2004-11-22T13:57:00.000+08:00

For The Moments I Feel Faints bye Relient K

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you your wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong,
He will be strong I throw up my hands "Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear
[Chorus]
I think I can't, I think I can't But I think you can,
I think you can I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can,
think you can Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands,
place them in your hands, place them in your